Please, for the love of god, try the following:
- Don't click the
Refresh
button. Go outside... NOW!
If you are about to spend another $100 at
Amazon, then please contact Amazon Anonymous.
To go outside, first click the
Cyber
Hypnosis
menu, and then click
Cold
Water in the Face. On the
Numb
Ass
tab, click
Sedentary
Back Pain. The
Get
Out of Your Chair
settings should match those
provided by your local area network (LAN) administrator.
If your Evil Computer Addict Persona has enabled it, we can
examine your network and quickly discover a way to wake you up from your
computer-induced stupor.
If you would like Windows to try and discover them,
click
Detect
Computer-Induced Stupor
There are a host of things awaiting you in the outside world: fishing,
skiing, skeet shooting, triathlons, PTA meetings, and dentist
appointments for example.
If you are unable to get up,
click here
and your power strip will emit a
large enough shock to scare you back to your senses. If that
doesn't work, then we give up. You are in need of serious
help. Dial 1-800-GET-HELP on your computer's keypad to reach a
mental hospital near you.
Click the
Back
button to
destroy your computer
Cannot find
reality Internet Exploder
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